I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
did i just pee glitter
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
