i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
