I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
