Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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