i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
