Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
