My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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