Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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