I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently you make a good broom.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
