OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
