they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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