im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
