Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
