there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
