were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
