im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
