Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
