What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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