There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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