I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
