He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
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Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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