ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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