i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
