we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
