Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
