Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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