Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
