I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize