What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Operation Purity has been aborted
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
