a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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