Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"

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(360): View more from Washington

You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?

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(434): View more from Virginia

A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!

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(817): View more from Texas

She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad

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(618): View more from Illinois

As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument

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