my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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