ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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