please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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