I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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