Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
