Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
