dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
