I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
