I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
