Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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