It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
