i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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