Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
