Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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