Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
