yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
