Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
