Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
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sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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