Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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