Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
