i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
