he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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