this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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