When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
