i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
