I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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