AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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