You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
